Forget “always be closing” — learn to build alignment and inspire further engagement when consulting, leading, or seeking a job
This post was first published on my Medium blog—follow me there for the most up-to-date entries!
Most consultants, leaders, and job seekers eventually discover the same truth: you don’t aim for closure in your first conversation. That first meeting isn’t the time to close the deal — it should be about building trust and setting up the next step.
The real goal is to lay the groundwork for trust, clarity, and alignment. Progress comes from moving the ball forward — not trying to score on the first play.
This wisdom cuts across roles. Whether you’re a consultant, a leader in the organization, a job seeker, or a goal-setter for any reason, a better approach is to play the longer game.
For consultants: “Don’t solve the problem too soon”
Experienced consultants do what David Giard states as Rule 1: “listen first, solve later.” Jumping into solutions too quickly — the “expertise trap” — may satisfy your ego, but it rarely builds strong, lasting relationships.
Girard’s Rule 2 is “don’t solve the problem too soon.” Instead, use the first meeting to listen deeply, ask questions, and establish a path forward. I admit, I’m a fixer, and I always feel inclined to fix something as quickly as possible, so I need a little self-restraint. The next meeting, not the first, is where progress happens.
In brief: Consultants who hold back from fully solving problems in the first meeting often see clients invite them back. When you accept the idea that the first meeting isn’t the time to close the deal, you allow the clients to feel ownership of the journey — which allows them to buy in more naturally.
For leaders: the “meeting after the meeting”
Leadership researchers use the phrase “meeting after the meeting” to describe the informal conversations where real sense-making happens. Note, this is not the gripe session where people say what they should have said earlier. Instead, it’s where participants reflect, clarify, and commit after the official agenda is done.
True buy-in takes shape in the conversations that follow a formal meeting. Smart leaders know that first meeting isn’t the time to close the deal, because forcing closure at the end of a meeting often stifles genuine alignment. True buy-in takes shape in the conversations that follow.
For job seekers: The first interview isn’t about getting hired
I recently gave this exact advice to one of my coaching clients — a remarkable leader with outstanding communication skills, the ability to organize, direct, and delegate, and a solid track record of keeping all the plates spinning while solving strategic problems. I had just written him a strong recommendation highlighting those qualities.
Even with that level of ability, I reminded him that a director-level role often involves multiple rounds. Just as the first meeting isn’t the time to close the deal, the first interview isn’t about landing the job — it’s about earning the next interview or a spot on the short list. As a hiring manager, I always wanted to see the full candidate pool before deciding, even if I already had a strong front-runner. The process matters as much as the outcome.
Goal-setting frameworks work the same way. Whereas goals are broad and often far in the future, objectives are specific, measurable, and more short-term.
You wouldn’t run a marathon on day one of training. You’d plan milestones, build confidence, and create momentum. Likewise, the first meeting — or interview — is simply the first milestone on the way to a larger goal.
Getting to the next meeting is a strategy to getting to the goal.
In brief: Treating interviews as steps rather than finish lines mirrors how hiring managers think. Even if they lean toward one candidate, they usually want to see the whole pool. The process is incremental by design.
When the strategy worked: My client story
Recently, I saw this dynamic play out in my own work with a prospective client.
My quiet goal: land a long-term engagement.
His unspoken goal: meet the company’s annual financial targets.
I remembered that the first meeting isn’t the time to close the deal. Instead of rushing to close, I listened carefully, offered tailored insights — including real numbers and public facts — and discussed potential pitfalls and how we could navigate them. I didn’t push for next steps. The meeting focused more on understanding than persuading.
To my astonishment, he suggested the next meeting himself. That was more than I had hoped — exactly the kind of forward momentum that comes when clarity meets alignment.
The core principle: Don’t close — align
Across consulting, leadership, and job seeking, the lesson is the same: forcing closure in the first meeting can actually slow progress. But when you listen, offer value, and focus on alignment, the next meeting often becomes a shared goal.
When someone sees that your proposal — or your candidacy — helps them achieve their goal, the conversation becomes easier to continue. The next step feels obvious, not forced.
How to apply this in your own work
- Begin meetings with curiosity, not closure. Listen deeply and make space for understanding before you try to win agreement.
- Provide value without strings. Offer insights, facts, or ideas that genuinely help, even if you don’t know what comes next.
- Map out possible next steps — but don’t force them. Let the other person see that continuing makes sense.
- Trust the space between conversations. People need time to think, talk with others, and reflect before they’re ready to commit.
Goal-planning takeaway
Meetings can be milestones, not endpoints. Just like good goal planning, they’re steps toward something bigger. The next meeting isn’t a box to check — it’s a sign of real alignment and forward motion.
Final thought & download
The real question isn’t whether you can close on first contact. It’s whether you should. Often, the best move is subtle:
Let clarity precede commitment.
This advice captures why the first meeting isn’t the time to close the deal — it should be about creating trust, clarity, and momentum for what comes next.
If you’d like concrete tools to embed this mindset into your meeting prep, download my free Persuasion & Influence Worksheet. It breaks down proven strategies into everyday language and gives you prompts to design your meetings intentionally — whether you need alignment, ideas, or another conversation.
📄 Grab the free Persuasion & Influence worksheet here
This post was first published on my Medium blog—follow me there for the most up-to-date entries!